Twilight
Meyer, S.
2005
New York: Little, Brown and Company
Age Range: 14+
Genre: Romance, Fantasy
Rating: 3/5



When Bella moves to dreary Forks, Washington to live with her father, she must get used to a new school, the lack of vitamin D, and the change of pace from her old life in Phoenix. To make the transition a little more palatable, Bella finds herself falling for an exceptionally beautiful but strange "boy" in her class, Edward. Through the jigs and the reels, Bella figures out that Edward is a mere century old and is, in fact, a vampire. Of course, things don't end there! A harrowing close encounter with carnivorous vampires (Ed and his "family" are vegetarians.. they feed on animals instead of humans) leaves Bella even more in love with her precious Edward, and begs him to make her a vampire so they can live together.. FOREVER!

Well, well, well. If it isn't a vampire romance. Didn't get enough of this with Anne Rice, apparently, so I had to try again. And, well.. was mildly intrigued, definitely entertained. There's a sequel that I probably won't read, so not that intrigued, but it was no Dumb Love! Half-decently written, with semi-engaging characters, Twilight was, you know.. OK.

Strangely enough, Bella and Edward abstained from "consummating" their relationship (Eddie-Boy was afraid he'd hurt the mere mortal Bella.. hurumph!), and good thing, I say. She's 17, he's 100 and some odd. I think that constitutes as something illegal? Unethical at the very least. Assuredly, in the next book (or the third, etc.), Bella does convince Edward to turn her immortal, then they can get down to some true vampire dirt.

So, yeah.. an OK pulpy vampirey romancey romp that would definitely be popular with the kiddies (if Buffy was/is, I guess the thrill is in there somewhere!).

Dumb Love
Johnson, K. J.
2005
New Milford, CT: Roaring Book Press
Age Range: 12 - 16
Genre: Romance
Rating: 1/5


Carlotta, a full-bodied 16 year old gal looking for love, is in the midst of writing a romance novel, keeping her father-of-heart sober, winning the boy of her dreams, and getting her mom to quit being, well, dumb in love. Quirky circumstances ensue, rife with friends who started out as enemies, strawberry ice cream, multiple crushes, and a whole lotta Jesus-will-keep-you-safe-even-though-we're-making-fun-of-religion humor.

Egads.

Dumb Love = Dumb Book. Plain and simple. Plot: lacking. Humor: attempting to be Brit Chick Lit, but failing miserably. Character development: minimal. Overall: bad.

Although, I did brush up on some slang to make me all the more hip with the kids. Ready for it?

VV = very virgin
True Romance Breasts = big and BIG
Total Dead Zone = romance that's over even before it began
Fatso = blessed flesh (in Italian)
Behemoth = appropriate name for a full-bodied gal in this high school, apparently

I repeat: egads.

And, as a final thought (á la Jerry Springer), in light of recent press over the usage of "scrotum" [insert gasps of horror here], I leave you with an excerpt:

The setting: writing class.
"Rosie [main character in Carlotta's murder-mystery romance novel] might be incorporeal but she could rip your balls right off your stupid dick."
"Class!"
"Try it," Walker laughed.
"Balls aren't part of the dick," Andrea announced, leaning in so Walker could get a close-up of her petite, sweater-clad breasts. "While attached, they're a separate entity."

The Magic Circle
Napoli, D.J.
1993
New York: Dutton
Age Range: 12 - 16
Genre: Reworked Fairy Tale, Fantasy
Rating: 4/5



In this well-written, poetic and emotional retelling of the Hansel and Gretel tale, Napoli takes the character of the old witch and brings her story to life. Given a complete background for the woman, and offered reasons behind her actions, the reader empathizes with the Ugly Witch and sympathizes with her position.

A quick, enjoyable read that offers a new take on an old classic, Napoli's The Magic Circle has much possibility for programming in the library and for encouraging young adults to continue their childhood love of fairy tales in a mature and exciting way.

Wonder When You'll Miss Me
Davis, A.
2004
New York: HarperCollins.
Age Range: 14+
Genre: Alex Award, Realistic Fiction
Rating: 3/5



Faith is a sixteen year old on the edge of her small town world, her sanity, and at times reality. With a gang rape, a suicide attempt, a stint in a home for the mentally ill and the loss of 60 pounds dotting the past year, Faith is reasonably sure that her world will never be the same. She disassociates to deal with the pain of her violation, and this manifests itself in the Fat Girl that follows her around, a haunting, angry shadow of her past. An odd turn of events forces Faith to leave town and join the circus, and her new life as Annabelle allows her what her history as Faith could not - a distinct feeling of belonging and of being loved.

Well-written but somehow lacking, Wonder When You'll Miss Me felt like Fight Club without the surprise ending. And the brilliant dialogue. And the greatness. OK.. it wasn't much like Fight Club at all except for the dissociative bit, but it was enough to warrant the comment! Faith/Annabelle is a well-developed character, and the reader does become engrossed in her life. The internal battle of Faith and the Fat Girl was at times compelling, and at other times incredibly annoying. As the novel progresses, their relationship twists and fragments interestingly, yet you never forget that they are the same character. Davis is a careful, defined writer and some passages were quite impressive, but to tell you the truth, I think it was the circus part that did me in. I just wasn't all that interested, and therefore the book lagged for me at the point when Faith joins with the travelling performers (approximately halfway through).

Although it does show a character moving past negative and horrific experiences to become a new person, Wonder When You'll Miss Me was, ultimately, disappointing. Faith runs away from her problems (and, yes.. I know they're BIG problems), shovels elephant shit instead of finishing her education, doesn't tell anyone about the rape and therefore internalizes and fragments her personality, and altogether makes terrible decisions. And, well.. nothing ever comes from it. I know she's a kid and the whole point is that she learns about herself and banishes her demons, etc. etc. But nothing bad happens to her as Skinny Faith. Fat Faith was raped. Fat Faith attempted suicide. Skinny Faith gets revenge, runs away, sleeps on dirty tattoo artists' couches, joins the circus, finds her place and belongs (sorry for ruining the plot line). It just seemed a little hollow to me. But maybe it was the circus! Or maybe it's the cross-over book phenomenon. Because this is an adult book that YAs have enjoyed, the themes are a little different, and there is no ending on a "I love you, Mom" kind of note.

I think I just wanted more from this novel. Perhaps I'm too greedy!

Girl, 15: Charming but Insane
Limb, S.
2004
London: Bloomsbury Publishing
Age Range: 12 - 16
Genre: Romance, ChickLit
Rating: 3.5/5



Jess is a witty 15 year old with a disproportionate bum, a granola-hippy librarian mom, a dad that text-messages her instead of visits, an astoundingly beautiful/smart/fabulous best friend, and a hell of a lot of circumstantial humor (for a high-school kid). Her big chance to impress her crush, Ben Jones, one-up her perfect best friend, Flora, and get revenge on her good mate, Fred (even though she's not quite sure what they're fighting) is to do a stand-up routine at the school talent show. She's charming, she's funny, she's unstoppable! She's insane.

I'll be first to admit that this whole ChickLit thing is, well... a bit of an enigma to me. Wait! I read Bridget Jones' Diary an age ago.. does that count? It's not where I head in the bookshop or library, so I really haven't read much. All that aside, I do think that Girl, 15 is a good read. Not a great read, not a challenging read, not a read that will change your life. But a good, funny, enjoyable use of a few hours of your time. Jess is a fairly good representative of the odd, spiteful, charming and altogether strange time that age 15 actually is. And I really did want her to get the guy (the right one, that is). Particularly enjoyable about this book is the dialogue between Jess and her mate, Fred - it's witty and flambouyant and at times completely unnecessary, and I like that about language! Also, the text-messaged 'horror'scopes that Jess' father sends her every day are sometimes almost laugh-out-loud funny.

So, overall, the novel is goodish. A quick, dirty read that will lighten your day and probably never really be a part of your conscious memory. But, sometimes fluff is perfectly OK!