Wonder When You'll Miss Me
Davis, A.
2004
New York: HarperCollins.
Age Range: 14+
Genre: Alex Award, Realistic Fiction
Rating: 3/5



Faith is a sixteen year old on the edge of her small town world, her sanity, and at times reality. With a gang rape, a suicide attempt, a stint in a home for the mentally ill and the loss of 60 pounds dotting the past year, Faith is reasonably sure that her world will never be the same. She disassociates to deal with the pain of her violation, and this manifests itself in the Fat Girl that follows her around, a haunting, angry shadow of her past. An odd turn of events forces Faith to leave town and join the circus, and her new life as Annabelle allows her what her history as Faith could not - a distinct feeling of belonging and of being loved.

Well-written but somehow lacking, Wonder When You'll Miss Me felt like Fight Club without the surprise ending. And the brilliant dialogue. And the greatness. OK.. it wasn't much like Fight Club at all except for the dissociative bit, but it was enough to warrant the comment! Faith/Annabelle is a well-developed character, and the reader does become engrossed in her life. The internal battle of Faith and the Fat Girl was at times compelling, and at other times incredibly annoying. As the novel progresses, their relationship twists and fragments interestingly, yet you never forget that they are the same character. Davis is a careful, defined writer and some passages were quite impressive, but to tell you the truth, I think it was the circus part that did me in. I just wasn't all that interested, and therefore the book lagged for me at the point when Faith joins with the travelling performers (approximately halfway through).

Although it does show a character moving past negative and horrific experiences to become a new person, Wonder When You'll Miss Me was, ultimately, disappointing. Faith runs away from her problems (and, yes.. I know they're BIG problems), shovels elephant shit instead of finishing her education, doesn't tell anyone about the rape and therefore internalizes and fragments her personality, and altogether makes terrible decisions. And, well.. nothing ever comes from it. I know she's a kid and the whole point is that she learns about herself and banishes her demons, etc. etc. But nothing bad happens to her as Skinny Faith. Fat Faith was raped. Fat Faith attempted suicide. Skinny Faith gets revenge, runs away, sleeps on dirty tattoo artists' couches, joins the circus, finds her place and belongs (sorry for ruining the plot line). It just seemed a little hollow to me. But maybe it was the circus! Or maybe it's the cross-over book phenomenon. Because this is an adult book that YAs have enjoyed, the themes are a little different, and there is no ending on a "I love you, Mom" kind of note.

I think I just wanted more from this novel. Perhaps I'm too greedy!